My birthday’s coming! I love birthdays. I love presents and surprises and cupcakes. Usually when it comes to filing taxes, I get it done as quickly as possible so’s I can buy myself a present [last year I Amazoned myself a sexy flat screen tv for cheap-cheap], but this year they’re holding student returns [those filing form 8863]! You should have seen my face when I first found out. I was like, no, that can’t happen to me. They can’t hold me back! So I filed anyway and lo and behold. Awaiting acceptance. Am I being oppressed?! What kind of cruelty to students is this? College students are fundamentally the butt of every broke-joke. We are the poor, lowly ones up all night studying and awake early to work crappy jobs that aren’t actually in the field we’re studying and therefore automatically suck [even if you’re lucky enough to have an easy and fun one like me]. And Ramen noodles! What I’m trying to say is, it might be hard out there for a pimp, but it’s harder for a college girl trying to come up!
Turns out every year the government does testing to make sure their systems are up to date and running properly before the tax season begins. Probably a good idea. And this year the form 8863 didn’t work as well as it should. The problem didn’t arise often, but rather than having a quarter of students deal with issues, they opted to hold back for all of us. Okay. Okay, government. Fine.
Fine! I’ll just take this time to brainstorm. I wish there was some sort of birthday drive through awesome machine where I could [borrow someone’s car and] drive through and be like, yo can I get:
This duvet cover in slate from West Elm?
What about this Plato desk lamp from Joss & Main?
I desperately need this Independent Architect shirt dress from ModCloth.
Yes, I’ll have fries with that. Yes, I want them large. Larger. Largest. French fries forever.
Also, I might need this Insanity Workout because clearly my love fries is…ugh, sub-sane.
Yeah, could you wrap that, please?!
And then they would put all these treasures in my [borrowed] trunk for me without asking about silly things like money. Am I out of control? Maybe. It’s my birthday [week]! Don’t judge me!
What will I probably actually get myself for the big 2-7? Honestly? Whiskey. Then maybe lumber for my desk that I was supposed to have built by now. That way I could put my imaginary lamp on it. Or a sexy wood stain for an upcoming project or three. Some fixtures for another project? A kreg jig or some other tool? Mmm canvas and paint for the new series I have in mind? Yeah, that’s sounds about right. Whiskey and then something nerdy. 😀
SUNSHINE [hopped up on caffeine]