In the Bag

There’s no doubt Seattleites are some fashionable creatures. One of my favorite fashion showcase blogs, It’s My Darlin, shows Seattleites in their natural environment. I could just scroll through forever. Look how their bags seem to be effortlessly slung on the shoulder or kindly clasped in hand. This is the life I want. Effortlessness. Unfortunately that’s not the hand I’ve been dealt here, people. At my day job I’m technically a mail carrier [not a male carrier]. Sometimes there’s nothing or only a few pieces or other times, like yesterday, there are 71 varying in size and weight adding to my already plentiful collection of shit.

Not shit, really, important things. Things everyone needs.

List of current purse contents:

reusable bag

wallet

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban [Harry Potter bookmark and rubber band]

umbrella [eh, eh]

Eclipse gum

keys

lighter

fancy cigarette case

Clinique Almost Lipstick in Black Honey 

2 precise ultra fine tip v5 pens, one purple, one blue

travel size perfume spritzer

pocket mirror

tweezers

another lighter

iPod

gold leafed 2013 planner

small bag containing lady stuff, ibuprofen, and band aids.

Okay! See? That’s not an overwhelming number of things to have in a purse. But this plus mail is too much. [And this plus mail plus GIANT COLLEGE TEXTBOOKS is WAY too much]. So too much, in fact, that I’ve broken destroyed, frayed and demolished every bag that’s come in contact with me. I am a purse killer. A mur-didly-erdler, I am.

I thought I was ahead of the game last season when I got a brand spankin’ new Nine West number, sort of like this one. Nope. The incredible front pocket tore off and then got a hole in it that grew to a cell phone swallowing size, incredibly. Ugh. I need a new purse. A durable one that looks chic and classic.

So my wallet? I was all excited to tell you about it because it holds everything juuust right. And I admit, it’s almost as cute is my kitty photo bomber.

wallet clutch

See? Right? And it’s incredibly handy to have a wallet that’s also a clutch. If I’m headed to a club or show or need to switch purses for a night, I always know everything’s right here, ready to go. That stitching about a quarter of the way down is an unsealed pocket, perfect for my lil iPod when I’m on the way to the car or bus fare when I’m on my way to the…bus. Basically anything thin that you need to get to quickly. Even though it’s unsealed it stays closed. It keeps to itself. It’s damn fine pocket.

Then, on the other side, there’s a buttoned section that has six card slots. Below that there’s a short zippered compartment that is perfect for change. The fact that the pocket is only just tall enough for a quarter means my change doesn’t rattle around. Awesome. And on top there’s a large zippered compartment that’s split down the middle where I keep my endless stack of discount cards and receipts. I love it!

Oh yes, I was almost thrilled to tell you about it, too. It played out like this in my head:

Me: Guess how much!

You: Silently reading.

Me: No, but guess where I got it!

You: Silently reading, less amused.

Yeah, well, that’s out the window now! The stupid change compartment zipper broke, like, just now at Safeway! Bah! What kind of world is this?! As you can see here, Pokie can hardly contain her disgust.

broken stupid awesome wallet clutch

But, okay, fine. As I was gonna say, I got it at Value Village. It was only $2.99. For as much as I love the way it holds everything I can say I’ve gotten my money’s worth, but damn it! That’s another thing!

So far I like these, but I don’t know if I can commit. It needs to be black. Must have some sort of easily accessible section for small essentials like my phone and iPod + headphones. It must be able to hold an 8 1/2 x 11 sized envelope without destroying the edges, but I’d really like if I could stash my computer in there on the rare occasion it leaves the house. I plan to use my reusable bag for mail so  the new bag’ll be safe from parcels, but I can’t make the same promise for school stuff come fall term.

Whatchu got in that bag? Where’d you get it? What do you think, should I give up on looks and go utilitarian? I feel like I could find an ugly tough bag no problem, buy why can’t it be cute?! And comfortable? Why can’t it be affordable? What brands can you trust when Nine West falls apart in a month? Why doesn’t it have a clutch wallet twin that’s exactly like this one except THE ZIPPER WON’T FALL OFF?

Can I live? Can I breathe?

Huntingly,

Sunshine

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